These Strong Weak Russian Women

It took me a long path of fun and sometimes pain to recognize the magical balance that makes a “real” woman of the Russian fashion.

A. While Western Feminists apparently refuse their female nature and reject the male nature, - Russian Ladies cultivate their praised Femininity and learn from [idealized] Real Men, improving with traits and trends commonly considered “Manly Advantage” (such as reason and purpose), and refraining from “Male Extremes” (aggression and dissipation) which Russian Men often demonstrate, and Russian Women try their best to countervail and mitigate.

(The [Former] Soviet Union management saw women’s “Elevating Function”, even above their own all-bearing diligence & discipline, as the reason to include women into any male work teams).

B. Russian Women Learn to Be Strong – and to Downplay this Strength. By “strong”, let’s mean “able, inventive, resistant and enduring, and also capable of influencing the outer world and other people.”

One wonders how many Russian women fashion Oriental culture & philosophy (China, India, Japan, Buddhism, Sufis, or pop paraphrases). It’s all about reconciling and reinforcing their inner “Yin & Yang”, making peace with the world, and living vulnerable which means adaptable to cha[lle]nge, and sensitively avoiding what can harm. Even if they have no notion of Aikido, - this most efficient and demanding martial art is essentially like the “Real Russian Ladies” ‘ daily communications which are based on same “reed-under-snow” resilient flexibility, love of the counterpart, use of the latter’s own impulse to win, and no-harm intent.

(Russian Women Academy Award: Best Post - “Quiet Navy Seals Invisible Power” by rw_man)

But there are some specific Russian-style mundane ways and attitudes proverbially inherent to our women.

• Proverb 1: “A woman’s power is in her weakness”.

Even top-achieving “Russian” women find it tiresome to be strong all the way, and dream of the Luxury of Being a Weak Woman, Cherished, Taken Care of, Supported and Protected.

Sparing effort for her knight to strain, a “Russian” lady lets him feel a Hero, gets things done easily, and inspires Sir Dragon Killer the Provider to show more wonders of result and creativity when he is “rescuing” his Dame and boasting in the limelight of respect and admiration, - instead of justifying himself against her doubts.

(And his is responsibility for the performance… )

Works perfectly to “Real Men” of 40s-50s-movie-hero caliber, but scares off many “Russian Men ™” grown to avoid responsibility. (So a Russian woman often overstresses her independence, acting “I-don’t-claim-your-anything” all the more that she really needs your care, company, feelings and support.) Well, a grain of cautiousness is for the Western Gentlemen to borrow…

…’cause there is the Dark Side of Strength-and-Weakness Force, too. Russian Women are Survivors; and they know well that their security and comfort depends on their disposition to other people. So the difference is, whether your Eastern girlfriend / wife’s behavior in the fragile, dependant, childlike or submissive style is - the generosity of confidence which can afford it humorously with no underestimaton incurred, or - the device of meanness (in all meanings) taking all advantages to pump lifeblood out of a man. (I would dedicate a special post to confidence tricks!)

On the other hand, when dubbed “strong”, a Russian woman often suffers men’s recoil, provoked by their fear of being Used, Abused and Outplayed. A double harmful mistake!

The “Russian” woman’s smarts and dignity are to be feared when hidden and subdued, and when they are apparent, they are here to be applied to mutual benefit (skip to Proverb 3 for justification). Nevertheless…

• Proverb 2: “To be called intelligent, a woman must hide her wit”.

So she treads likewise on any her qualification, trying conscientiously not to [God forsake] hurt any weak man’s ego. Sorry Gentlemen. How else can you explain cartoonishly typical cases complained on by an Eastern European woman dumped for her foreign language skills or ability to fix a car (hi Vendula!). The Oscar-distinguished Russian film “Moscow Doesn’t Believe Tears” also features a workman giving up his woman which he has occasionally (!) found to be a factory top manager. She did love, respect and value him as a Man (who’s able to take responsibility, arrange events, and to protect a young girl – her daughter – from a gang of hooligans). Regardless, he couldn’t bear what he felt a challenge to his superiority complex, as he had entered her life with the words “It’s me who shall make decisions, on the one simple ground that I’m a Man”.

What’s positive about this style of female behavior is that you can never guess what more talents your Russian date, partner and wife would display another day, making your relationship a chain of miraculous surprises… if you would value them. A negative implication is that a brilliant Russian woman often may not wait for the man of strength and magnitude to hold “this all”, but instead consent to sacrifice a part of her identity so that to bend to a first-tolerable man “just not to be alone” (thus compromising on the happiness of at least four people – herself crippled and neurotized, her husband suffering his disparity and her unhappiness, their child raised in such an atmosphere, and her Destined Man longing somewhere for her gifts as for assets, not tie-ins). I call it a “Ferrari-at-countryside” problem.

Well not that “Russian Men” did not appreciate strong women. Oh how they only do, in a specific style… “SUV” (interpretable as Superwoman Under Veil), - or

• Proverb 3: “Would enter a house on fire, / Would hold up a galloping horse”

(A famous verse by Nekrasov, 1821-1877, “There Are Countrywomen in Russia…” - thought it easier to translate than to look for it translated)

…to be continued…

Related Posts:

“Down-to-Earth Goddesses: A Real Russian Woman’s Secret Oath”

© Comrade Natalia

(…please link to this page when using some information from it! ;)

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