I MUST publish this letter. It arrived consisting of 4 texts, Spanish = English = Russian = French. (What a spectacular Global Casanova Software!) The English text was a fair reflection of the Spanish original, and the Russian one was derived from English. Now, if we assume the Russian woman addressee doesn’t know any foreign language well,.. – you’d better see a reverse translation of what she has to read.
My conscience is clear, as one can’t call this email personal. In fact, it is a typical “machine” email, adorned by a half-faced-away photo, most evidently sent to dozens of women, and for this reason ending in dozens of delete bins as if an empty piece of paper.
Unfortunately, well-thought, individual letters are often shredded by translation too, like that teleported monkey in “The Fly” by David Cronenberg. So be seated with some popcorn to endure the horror, beginning so innocently…
*
“I am called *** and I been doctor. Alive in Spain and you are 1 E woman to whom I write since I know east type relations by Internet.
“Alive in *****, Spain, I am 46 years old, I do not have children and since I have said before I dedicate to the medicine. If you want to know more on the type of medicine that I practice, it visits my page Web in the ******.com.
“Next to this message I send a photo to you mine. I hope that you answer to me and we pruned to know something better us, although at the moment it is through email.”
*
“Я вызван *** и I, котор будут доктором. Жива в Испании и вас женщина 1 евро к я пишу в виду того что я знаю восточные отношения типа Интернетом.
“Живо в *****, Испания, Я 46 лет старых, Я не имею детей и в виду того что я говорил прежде чем я предназначаю к микстуре. Если вы хотите знать больше на типе микстуры, то я практикую, оно посещает мой стержень страницы в направлении ******.
“Рядом с этим сообщением я посылаю фотоим к вам шахту. Я надеюсь что вы отвечаете к мне и мы подрезали для того чтобы знать что-то более лучше мы, XOT4 at the moment оно через email.”
Now what it sounds like to a Russian ear. With all the conscious justifications for the language barriers, our native grammar & semantic system inexorably invokes associations stemming from the words’ face value.
*
“I am summoned by **** and I. which will be a doctor. (Two men have asked the third person to write it. The second one is either a medical student or suggests to act as a doctor.) Some woman is [still] alive in Spain. And you woman 1 € to (this is an estimate of worth or material standing, an exchange rate, or a comparative attitude) I write because I know Eastern-style relations, like, by Internet. (Their experience is confined to Internet, leaves them not too aware and respectful of it, and their manner of speech is far from educated.)
“Alive (in neuter gender – the writer is neither a man nor a woman) in *****, Spain, I [for] 46 years [have been doing something to] the old, I don’t have children, and with regard to what I said, I first destine [myself or yourself] to a potion. (Impotent? Imposing anti-age treatment on the addressee? Is too queer to deal with by her good will? Or probably drug dealing because – ) If you want to know more [using] the type of the potion, I do practice, it visits my rod (exactly! mysterious essences always should visit the substance-practicing folks) of the page in direction ******.com. (Maybe there’s chance to spot “IT” on the Web, too.)
“Along with this message I send, by means of photo, to you a [can this шахта be "industrial mine"? else the attachment shouldn't be viewed in public places, to see some "pit"... or, if we dig into the dictionary both ways, a "shaft", alluding to the above "rod"... and remember the neuter gender... ick!]. I hope that you fit me and we have trim-cut so that to know something better, we (or better than ourselves?), WILLIN4 although at the moment [we make] it through email.” (How hot!)
Doctor Jekyll the Ripper, is that you??
First letters have immense importance. There are no second chances for the first impression.
The less actual information, the more side-factors interfere. Women used to perfume their mails in past centuries, so that to compensate for lack of total perception.
When she sees no more person than ten lines on the white, a passing connotation is enough to spoil the mood and imprint a wrong FEELING.
Why not write in a language you command, or hire human translators, Gentlemen…
Wishing you acquaintances to find enough common language with,
so that you don’t need a translator in your family house.
(More arguments for this idea would follow.)
Sincerely,
© Comrade Natalia
(…please link to this page when using some information from it! ;)
December 15, 2006 at 2:46 am
Наталия, молодец! Не слабо! After taking several semesters of Russian in college I had to find out this truth the hard way, with my Russian professor wagging her finger at me in disapproval.
The Russian poet Yevgeni Yevtushenko once said about the dangers of translation in literature: “It is like a woman: if it is beautiful, it is not faithful; if it is faithful, it is not beautiful.” Это правда!
And judging from the above, it looks as though there exists a third category…neither faithful nor beautiful but pretty comical at times. I have a love of language in general and enjoyed your post very much Natalia…Poka!
December 15, 2006 at 1:50 pm
A laugh of cheers and excitement back to you!
I plan a great deal of translation from swinging Russian humor, with special regard to cross-cultural communications. A source worth a hundred teachers…
Спасибо, заходите еще! )
December 25, 2006 at 2:01 am
The initial English text seems to be spoiled … or machine-translated (from Spanish?) Surely enough, the new machine traslation smashed it completely. Unfortunately, we cannot see the original text, and don’t know what translation system was used. Perhaps, it would be better to translate the text directly from Spanish into Russian, but the MT system used by this gentleman didn’t support this language pair, and he translated the text from Spanish into Russian via English. It was a really bad idea, as we can see. Surely enough, Spanish-Russian translation are supported by few translation programs (and only one of them is available online – http://www.translate.ru), but it can be easily found on the Web with the help of any seaching engine.
December 25, 2006 at 10:35 am
Thank you for your contribution, Argentum. It’s worth the nom de plume you chose! ;)
Another evidence that, with the Internet and a bit of honest effort, where is a will, there is a way.
It might be curious to test all machine translators available, in hope for any decent one elaborated.
Unfortunately, the irony of the day is that
- the reader still needs knowledge of [the original language] so that to reconstrue the [target language] text, wherein an additional language barrier has been built by artificial translation,
- and it takes the writer as much knowledge of [the target language], and twice as much time, to edit the translated letter into something human thoughtful, – as to just write it in his native language;
- what is perfectly translated up by the machine, is the mailer’s lack of personal care, the “bulk attitude”, the sense of jaded haste and arrogance. Then whoever needs a “Russian bear as a pet”, gets it, with all the implications.
April 16, 2007 at 11:32 am
The five rules a man must follow for a happy life are as follows:
1. It is important to have a woman who feels responsible for keeping your home clean, who does not mind picking up after you, who enjoys cooking for you, and also has time for her outside interests.
2. It is important to have a woman with a good sense of humor who makes you laugh often, and laughs at all your pranks and jokes.
3. It is important to have a woman who thinks you are highly intelligent, who trusts your judgment completely and doesn’t lie to you about money.
4. It is important to have a woman who is affectionate, who prepares your evening drinks in her skimpiest negligee (preferably almost naked) because she knows that it will bring a bright smile on your face and add spring to your step.
5. It is very, very, important that these four women don’t know each other and never meet.