Russian People and Materialism: Rich or Poor vs. High or Low

These notes address argument about Money vs. Satisfaction and City vs. Province, inspired with the question, whether Russian women are Worshipped or Depreciated at homeland, and if Western environment and Chivalry can “spoil” them. Original thread here at GL’s. Worth reading.

Russians say, “Not in money happiness is” (well, some jocularly add “but in its amount”), and right they are. Culture is what matters, – in all its meanings, including artistic sources of thought and pleasure, active folklore, patterns and manners of human relations, self-discipline, spiritual ideals and fulfilment,.. goals and values that money’s nothing more than a means for.

• General mapping

At a close sight, Post-Soviet society is dramatically divided into classes, but still more critically into subcultures. These subcultures are determined by social groups (but also pass through them, together with people). They collide, attract, escape, and influence each other.

From a higher and broader perspective, Russian mentality has always been less materialistic, more spirited and giving, as compared West-ward. Ukrainian humanitarians add the term “cordiocentrism” (heart-centeredness) to it.

Some thinkers associate the West with the left hemisphere of a brain, rational and mathematical, and Eurasia with the right one – intuitive, emotional and erratic. Apart from esoteric speculations, the clue can be found at the climate map, that even reflects the geopolitical terminator between the two Europes. Moderate or contrasting? Predictable or unpredictable? Mild or wild?

In the land where hardship overlaps with resource, and fortunes can be made and lost in a wink of fate rather than steadily accumulated through disciplined work, money and effort are bound to a lighter attitude.

Orthodox religion praised spiritual escapism from the material world. Scanty life formed communal mentality that denounced “sour grapes” and pulled back the “climbers”. Those who got money, a little or a lot of, were fonder of the boons it could be converted to… as if to justify the “filthy lucre”. Which, at its largest amounts, has indeed absorbed much tears, blood and dirt (as the historical order of the Russian-speaking territories did its utmost to make legitimate enrichment hardly possible).

Russians view money as something indecent, when it’s “bare”, but admire the Material Culture it’s vested in. We tribute currency units to “what money cannot buy” – our Children, our Friends, our Loved ones, Aesthetics, Knowledge and Impressions.

But… it’s the Wild East, where extremes make the reference grid.

The rich – founding worldly art galleries and institutes, sustaining orphan houses – or throwing banquets at the cost worth feeding all the hungry… The poor – transferring last pennies for distant children’s cancer surgery – or killing for a bottle of vodka… Mafiosi – donating to restore cathedrals… Doctors – prescribing ruinous pills for commissions…

Likewise, wrong guesses can be made on marital morals, judging from outside.

• Happy Nations

What do certain peoples owe their statistical level of happiness or distress to? On the thread of comments I linked to, Ald Sannes made a fine pitch of remarks about “least happiness with highest GDP”, which was caught up by Anonymous age 64, with his keen street observations on women of different wealth. I hurry to keep the ball flying, with apology for having no dissertation on tap.

It’s easy to be happy-go-lucky when it’s warm, you have bananas and oranges all around, and don’t need to strain to get them…

Now seriously. This article http://www.vz.ru/society/2006/12/28/62667.html tells, quoting after Ipsos-Reid, that #1 stress to Most Stressed People (who inhabit Europe, – especially Germany, – Australia and the US) is work, next follows health, – even more disturbing than family problems; financial concerns lag behind. Whereas happiest Mexicans care little about work, yet are top anxious about their private wealth. (It’s late night in Kiev… do you really want a dissertation?)

Any correlations between work and wealth? ) Consider also German strictness and Latin expressivity… suppressing stress vs. letting it out.

Russians care about work even less than Mexicans (it reflects in many Russian proverbs), whom they respectively over-calm in this rating. Other polls tell that it’s family issues that worry Russians MOST. Next come financial concerns, instigated by poor remunerations and never-ending risks of all sorts, and fears of violence.

What soothes Russians? No, not vodka (16% population mentioned it as a remedy), not food (13%), not sex (9%). Main anti-stressors are TV (46%) – common people’s escape into the Beautiful and/or Intensive Life of Others – and music (43%), whereto one should add Books, Films, Theater, Shows, Hobbies, other cultural matters, as well as Prayer.

And above all, the first resort – THE SINCERE HELP OF FRIENDS, and sometimes relatives, who won’t label you “indecent”, “loser”, and “wet blanket” if you show your worries to them, – but would listen, give advise and lend a hand. (For this very reason, we need far less pills and analysts than Westerners.)

• Face value

Now what “diagnoses” one can make by the faces met in our streets?

Former Soviet people have long been recognized against other nations by their sullen, overtaken-with-problems, and constrained image.

There were historical reasons: severe nature, which has forged a “Nordic” temper, ages of discomfortable life from year one, and a long period of bone-marrow fear of being told on, and repressed into exile or death penalty, just through a neighbor’s envious suspicion of well-being (making wealth was outlawed, and having it incurred the lethal label “member of enemy class”) or personal happiness (deemed a “retreat from serving the State” due to the ubiquitous propaganda).

All the way, the harder our people’s life is, the more serious is their “default expression” (especially Northward)… and the more they like to joke, laugh, unwind and celebrate, – to rescue themselves, to deride difficulties, to protest against their environment.

With all that, they smile heartfully… only at whom they feel like smiling.

Yet, one ordinary Kiev morning this Autumn, I saw 5 people, men and women, passing by the same street light, and they all were smiling to their own thoughts!

Regarding women, you can often guess their social situation (many factors of, material ones being just a part of this complex, including work and family issues) by the degree of pain or nonchalance in their face and bearing.

And still…

Who visits over-numerous powwows in Russia? All strata may. But prevalently poor and “simple” women.

Who visits psychologists? All strata may. But prevalently “glam chicks”. “He gave me that BMW convertible, but hurls insults and dishes (with the dinner I’ve deliciously made) into my face!”

• Pernicious Influence

The second observation by Ald Sannes was that “it takes some 3-4 years of living in the States for a Russian Woman to get “americanized”, and 8 for an Asian (from poorer background), ergo, obsession with material wealth, unsatisfiability and desire for a free ride are traits more common to a large city.”

If even Asians americanize, then a Russian village girl’s assimilation is just a matter of time – “why bother importing a new wife every several years”, one could reply. But I’d prefer to answer to the question set and conclusion given (however inaccurate).

Asia is TOO different from the West by its mentality and culture (yet another way round from the Slavs, who stand closer to Europe!). This is why Asians americanize slower. This is why Japan experiences a deep and lasting identity crisis, groping for its place in the globalized world dominated by the West.

(BTW Japan is one more example of a “rich and frustrated” society of workaholics, though its deep economic problems are probably a first-order stress factor).

Russia is more EGALITARIAN and LIBERAL than Asia; it resembles Arabian East in its attitude to luxury and generosity; and it is continually comparing itself with the West.

In the West, the Former Soviet Union finds a model of what it finds enviable, and points at the “scarecrows” (GWB’s ignorance, McD’s diet).

One shouldn’t deny Russians common sense in discerning right from wrong, and patriotism in holding to their moral values. Still, a hunger for a “better life” remains. And since the Iron Curtain fell, they can see the Western menu of enticements advertised and sold all over the world.

So, there often occurs the “backstroke effect” when you take home some cute “pet bear from wilderness” and it grows.

The more misery, humility and restriction she has endured initially – not by her choice, but for lack of available alternative She Knows There Exists! – the more she’s bursting for (hyper)compensation, though after a possibly longer period of initial bashed shyness of a lottery winner. Enough examples, home or abroad.

What can restrict it? Your bride’s Strong Identity and Discipline of Dignity. Which are made of: Self-Sufficience; Rich Inner World; and Sense of Worth.

In his “Rich Girl.. Poor Girl..” GL quoted, “you can take a girl out of the street, but you can’t take the street out of a girl”. A valuable read on “high” and “low” in the very cultural sense.

It doesn’t mean that your potential bride ought to be rich. I’d heartfully vote for the “new poor“ – well-bred, self-made and proud ladies struggling through poverty with more or less success. See GL’s post “The Character, Strength & Fortitude of Russian Women“ along with comments. But this is a specific kind of urban mentality, – the bigger city, the wider stratum.

I agree that There Are Lots of Posh Capital Chicks who want a free ride, – since they are used to that. The more demonstrative, the more deformed. On the other hand, There Are Lots of Unspoiled Russian Girls that go haywire – not even in the American “warfare” way, too rational; the “natural forces” of Russian Anguish can be pretty devastating, be they active or passive. What can make these girls unhappy? Sense of Insecurity (in total financial and emotional dependence). Sense of Loneliness (if she’s too strange to your background, and you’re too busy). Sense of Boredom (boring to themselves, boring to their husbands… well, same are most “glamour girls”, who have raped into “big city life” from the same “wilderness”).

That’s not their fault, that’s woeful fate. They’ve had too little opportunity to learn securing themselves by their own effort. And their minds – as well as their parents’, friends’ and neighbors’ – were too occupied with securing basic needs (the classical Maslow’s hierarchy again) than to cherish the “cultural filling” that makes the difference between a “lady” and “ladette”.

Richer Cities give our women more opportunities to build their identity and sufficient foothold WITHOUT exploiting men and WITHOUT selling themselves to whoever takes them away.

Lots Of Big City Women Do use these opportunities, to learn the Generosity of Strength, and carry it on into the world of “Infinite Opportunities”. If they ever leave their countries.

(With an increase in local economies, a percentage of Russian-to-foreign marriages, as well as local divorces, drops. http://www.kp.ru/daily/23694/52238/)

That’s NO feministic propaganda, Gentlemen. Don’t watch EASTERN EUROPEAN reality through AMERICAN glasses. That’s what LIFE offers DECENT “RUSSIAN” WOMEN and what they make of it.

This is good news for you.

Career or not, – they think, – the main advantage of the West is that it MAKES IT EASIER to be a [FINE] WIFE & MOTHER!

Remember the “Supporter” attitude. In ANY of her aspirations, a Real Russian Woman always considers how much benefit she can bring to her family.

And, deep inside her heart, – to feel a Gentle Protected WOMAN…

Choosing a “Protector”, a Russian wife-to-be thinks NOT in terms of how much dough she’ll get,

but how more Easy, Beautiful and Respectable her life would turn (after drastic mess, hard labor at home and outside, lack of nice impressions, rudeness and rotting morals, and many other things she can see all around, – the deeper province with the poorer overall life standards, the more pervading these are),

and HIGH ABOVE IT – how CARINGLY her Man would treat her (for all her lavish love and care she gives out as her greatest and most eager gift),

ABOVE IT ALL – how strong a FATHER he would make.

Without Communication, Help, Consideration, Gentle Handling, Tolerance and Devotion (call it “pampering” if you wish), man is no “prince” – he is an “Evil Heartless Moneybag” (if he is), and life with him is “Golden Cage” (or “Prison”).

The more confidence she has, the better she can resist to buying into “escape from poverty and/or loneliness”.

For you, it means she’s chosen you for being a really great personality, not “a substantial meal ticket” or “finally a tolerable man”.

Related posts: Cinderella Code to Russian Women’s Virtues, Expectations, Attitudes and Charms

“Poor-Guy-Good-Girl Test Failed”

So much for today.

Sincerely,

© Comrade Natalia

(…please link to this page when using some information from it! ;)