A Russian Wife as a Natural Disaster: “Idiot Savant” on Alien Turf, or Higher Comfort - Lower Gravity

Omission & presumption of “default” routine procedures wreck more international marriages than cultural barriers do. Honest well-wishing care does not inoculate us from screwing up. “She’s a novice – you’re the boss” is but an illusion of control.

Ask Joseph. ) With experience like his in Russian / Ukrainian travels, relationships and business, you won’t need a Buddhist course in tranquility.

Your native Consumer’s Paradise and your woman’s native Consumer’s Purgatory impose different gravity. Former Soviet people may need time to accommodate physical effort they are used to applying to mechanisms, to quit “household tips” on inventive use of handy means, and sometimes to unlearn pushing on people (though unobtrusive politeness is recommended to foreigners in Eurasia, too). Plus they have to master the “space technology” of Western legal regulations and forms where every word, action, or omission has consequences.

The Bride Vendetta: How to Make a Russian Girl “Kill Bill”

Read prior to speaking love, appointing visits, and getting too many women! ) Risks range from bad international record to physical revenge. Just don’t ask me to spill the sources of Insider Information translated…

Ukrainian Demographics – Men, Women, Families: Let’s Dot the I’s

2006, printed sources: Ella Libanova, Vice-Director, Institute of Demography under the National Academy of Sciences of Ukraine; Victor Smirnov, journalist

Note: Ukrainian nationals, not ethnic Ukrainians, are discussed.

Natural Dating vs. Matchmaking Brief: basic methods for men & women – advantages and disadvantages in a SWOT list

Ironically, matchmaking is the oldest way to marriage. Sage women or parents have done it since the dawn of humanity. Deliberate choice of life partner has grown into “Western” and “Russian” custom in c. XX, and still relies on social proof. Pondering on current divorce rates and the tragic vibe of known love stories, does third party assistance make sense? Let’s rationally weigh all pro’s and con’s (pun unintended…)

Virgin Village & Smalltown vs. Babylon City? Russian Brides Background Effect

To a Western man searching Russia / Ukraine for unspoiled virtue, health, high moral values, sound family background, top model beauty, unconditional love, and proper mothering of his children, - hinterland is the last area to seek a wife. Post-Soviet specifics of economy and mentality contradict American-based reasoning on the percentage of “sound” or “flawed” women in small communities, of “deserving” or “evil” girls who relocate upscale, and of “fine” or “filthy” city-borns.

A keen observer can discern a range of more specific social types. A psychologist would consider the entire combination of individual factors to make a right match. And it takes a native to detect ancestry & upbringing by manners, speech, style, even by facial features. But let’s now clarify the first-approximation guidelines.

How do major factors of origin affect a Russian or Ukrainian woman’s character? What marriage behavior can a stranger forecast by them?

Here are some trends you need to know. Feels bad to spill - and to conceal.

First mention & counter-arguments

Russian Women’s Professions and Roles Translated: Antipodes to Typical Western Concepts

May not different social realities, giving different meanings to similar words, prevent a viable international relationship or create tensions on the way to one.

“Working girl”, for starters, is “what you’ve thought” only in the Western reading. In Russian, emphasizing work means serious attitude to life (yet not obsession with career - the very word given some negative connotation since the Russian Empire, and much stronger in the Soviet Union).

A Different View: Ode to Ugly Women in “Men’s Cult” (Russian e-magazine)

Who said “There are no un-beautiful women”? Themselves the plain? or men who marry them, carry them in arms for life, and hold them as more attractive than star beauties? What’s their hidden power? Says one of such guys, disclaiming himself not handsome.

Scam or Real? First visit to a Russian woman: Who Where

On comment 42 to this post at GL’s. More on scam schemes here

Hi Rob, I can imagine your confusion. This letter appears controversial as well as authentic. Here are some thoughts I got…

First, considerations natural from a woman’s viewpoint, that usually scare men.

How to Survive a Russian Party: Courses, Drinks, Hangover – Medical Advice

“A Russian’s pleasure, a German’s poison”, - a proverb says. Metabolism depends on ethnicity; accustomed guts defer evil outcomes of local habits. Even so, every New Year night “presents” Post-Soviet ambulance with the year’s top yield of patients. Other holidays are lighter yet similar challenge.

“Bad” Body Language: the Filthiest Post on Russian Women & Western Men Interaction

Even if your could-be-bride is a fan of Mr. Bean, - mimicking his manners won’t make you her hero. In the basics of Russian cultivation, grimaces and physiological manifestations fall under certain censorship.

Which makes this post important beyond romantic contacts. However polished the stranger may be…

Slavic norms of public / interpersonal conduct allow much less natural motions than accustomed abroad (especially in America). Some may be judged as, without much exaggeration, crime against civility! And civility’s one of the first virtues which Foreign Men are given credit for.

Growing Own with Partner’s Children of a Former Marriage – Russian / Ukrainian experience

(Life stories and professional advice)

More than two people have to get along! A fact is easy to adopt; real Little Others take more time to love. When they feel it – are hostilities inevitable? How can the new stepfather or stepmother cope with a life-long challenge sooner?

Swear a Sure Way to Screw a Relationship with a Russian Woman

…barely awarely. Just with routine American vocabulary. I mean vulgarisms. Words stemming from the pelvic area or loo, such fu(n)kin‘ crap not worth a rat’s ass. Ain’t “anatomy discrimination”: the rest of the body is subject to non-verbal control (see the following post).

Oscar Wilde said, “A gentleman is never unintentionally rude”. A Russian joke extends: “A gentleman would always call a cat a cat, even if he’s stumbled against it and fell down.” And one more: “Surprisingly, researches have proven that blondes prefer gentlemen, too.”

Family Property, Child Support, (Ex-)Spouse Maintenance: Rights and Obligations

My main professional experience is in Ukrainian law. But it’s easy to compare with the Russian Federation Family Code, with their common Soviet basics, built over the Russian Empire’s civil-law system, and modified towards contemporary European standards.

So, here’s a brief to help you estimate general conditions of a marriage with a FSU woman under the law of her country.

Marriage, Concubinage, Experiment? Legal Choice and Consequences

Surprising stats: more wives than husbands in the FSU. Polygamy?! No, different attitudes to non-formalized cohabitation. A Russian poll revealed: of all partners living so, 92% women identify themselves as married, while 85% men keep feeling bachelors.

Ironically, Soviet people dub non-wed household-sharing unions with the legally illiterate title “civil marriage”, but scarcely guess that such relationships, throughout history, engender more or less of rights and obligations associated with the desired – or dreadful, as all jokes go – status of “legitimate spouses”.

Gentlemen, you’re gonna be more savvy than most locals! ;)

Russian Inaccuracy and the Order of Magnitude, or Chocolate as Crime

West vs. East is the clash of Rules vs. Context. Who overdares? Eurasia.

• Exercise 1. Is there anything wrong about these statements?

1. “If I can’t rely on you with small things, how can I trust you with big things.”

High Heels and Fancy Women: Russian Stories with Morals

On beauty, prostitutes, good women, gender roles, consumerism and compensation - through the cultural difference of Former Soviet Union countries

• Story 1

I’ve just watched a TV show “Beauty Factory (Made in Ukraine)”, where they take “visually challenged” women and improve their lives with surgery, stylist crafts, psychology backup. Boyfriends fall on their knees to make proposals, bosses promote, children start listening to the Fairy agape… This time even the show team couldn’t hold tears at the happy end, neither could I…

Safe Love with Their Ears (Do NLP & Seduction techniques work with Russian Women?)

Oh, wanna superweapon? In all plots it lacks the user warning: Strikes Back. If you won her heart, get hitched – or blacklisted, with all your aural Kama Sutra reduced to the crass definition “Brainf***er”.

Well, far before this prospect, many boys plod into the puddle just trying to sway the sword.

10 More Golden Rules for Advanced First-Time Dating International

A link to send Russian & Western online friends ;)

• 1. If something feels like offending you, it was NOT intended to.

Joseph calls it “Girfriend Rule #1”, I call it “Disclaimer”. Always mind the cultural and linguistic differences, added to individual styles!

Russian (Ukrainian) Men’s Characters. Episode 1

Hitch-lift city drivers are a popular alternative to taxi here. Some car owners earn their living so, some just don’t miss an extra bill on their way to work / home / errands, some even do favors. Though it now takes a too luckless fate to run across a robber or assaulter if you stop that random car in Kiev (you rather beware of criminals when it’s you at the wheel), foreigners are the “risk group”, and are never let enjoy the low-cost price.

So I disadvise this mode of transportation to you, but often use it myself – and learn lots about life and people through chatting the way.

99,99% lifts are given by men, not “auto-ladies” (however numerous), so they add male perspectives to the comprehensive feminine clue-up I witness in local seamstresses and hairdressers (ah, forgot to mention the abysmal abundance of educative stories by home-improvement freelancers, men and women).

Here is this morning’s sketch I’d like to share.

“Forbidden Words” Top 10: Messages and Self-Descriptions Not Recommendable as to get you an “Ideal Partner”

These innocent phrases in a profile, email, talk (yours or hers) – resemble customary markers of “Co-Dependency” infection (as opposed to wholesome Mutual Treasuring). Keep cool, as you present yourself or hear that woman doing so! Are they mere figures of speech, or configurations of thinking?

Main problems of traveling to Former Soviet Union: Language Barrier, Service and Safety

The most complained-on problem is “visitor-non-friendly” environment. There IS state-of-the-art “civilization”. And many Russian people DO strive to lend a hand, for the sense of patriotism and dignity. Yet they also see more compatriots of less culture (in terms of language skills, helpfulness regardless of them, order, abuse, and racism) than their foreign counterparts have (the brighter is the well-bred visible minority, highly praised by sophisticated travelers from Europe.)

The rule is: the deeper backwards, the harder (insulation in deterioration, deterioration in insulation). But there are capital exceptions worth a contrary rule! No ounce of justification is given to the woodwork habits of numerous hoards of “centers” dwellers or barbaric newly-rich parvenus moving to capital cities or traveling abroad.

Same is true for Ukraine and other Former Soviet countries, maybe in a way more hospitable and internationally disposed… and less accurately organized.

So, here follow the major bummers. Brought to your attention from a Russian website on tourism (a discussed poll “What irritates foreigners in Russia“) as vaccination against possible cultural shocks.

Let not the surrounding dirt mar the human diamonds you are going to meet, nor upset your plans for a Nice Time on a Comfortable Extreme Tour.

10 Commandments of Dating Russian Women (marriage-wise): Ultimate Edition, Compiled, Revised, Updated & Restored

“Needless for those who’ve understood, useless for those who won’t”…

As the faith, so the reward… World is Mirror, life is what we make & let done with it… He who thinks prostitutes, gets prostitutes. He who thinks noble, gets the noble.

People seem to savor new recipes of food for thought: self-toothed out of mineral tablets, or squeezed, extracted and served with a straw in an occasion-specific glass. So may I entertain you with one more cocktail of playful spirits.

Chefs promise trouble if the vessel is not cleaned. Right. Enroll to this school of international dating, get blacklisted from heaven with virgin angels, and keep spitting into decent people’s borscht. Or listen to Aunt Natalia and take a chance… )

How to Select Regions, Cities & Towns If You Want to Emigrate to Russia or Ukraine?

“If I lived in the middle part of Siberia, then I wouldn’t be near the West from either side of the globe.” - Luke Skywalker, continued from the main page.

Aunt Natalia says:

Dear Luke, Fellow Pioneers & Aspiring Settlers.

Latitude-wise, Former Soviet Province is relatively uniform in women’s attitudes. Central TV and Press are everywhere, forming the common “communicational background”. Also there should be jobs, goods, housing & conveniences, books and entertainments to keep people from growing as desperate as angry, self-destructive and… fugitive.

Comrade GL has evidently given some good directions from Siberia. Now what can I add since you asked?

New Bride Scam Art Technology Alert or Just Life? Sophisticated Gentle Goes Far

“Now All Big Smart Boys don’t let us skin them – let us milk them.” Petty pay as you play, and then… you just didn’t match. Russian men call it “Dynamo”, meaning bad-faith “consummation”. What’s ironic is that the “normal” traditional Eastern dating, or e-dating, procedure begins the same way.

The difference is in the result… and in subtlest red flags on the way, which your good auld Natalia’s there to tell.

Greater irony is that man can even feel grateful for every moment of being “used”! These Special Russian Women.™

(Or it takes a special man to choose enlightenment against despair?)

Thank a client who authorized me to tell his story on one finest Dynamo machine business for Ukraine. It looked [almost] innocent for as long as two dozen letters. But “however long a rope weaves, it comes to an end”.

“Too good to be true” Russian Brides Black Lists (Scam or Life – II)

Another lesson inspired by a Clien’ts story (quoted courtesy of).

“First I want to say that in my heart I believe she’s genuine. I like her very much, and I haven’t approached her with suspicion, nor do I want to.

I happened to run across ["this forum"], where a bunch of guys were discussing – her! Her letters to one of them.

I’ve seen a couple scam girls’ emails. They’re pathetic and transparent, if you think about them with the big head. These are nothing like that. I’m so confused.

Once I start reading these scam sites, it’s so easy to think “Oh my god, what if this, what if that?” I read all of the posts there and quickly realized

Good News on IMBRA Help Your Russian Dating & Marriage Prospects

Honestly, we Russian Women hail the US law on men’s police record disclosure. Just look with our eyes, like you can. In fact, it puts American daters a body ahead ALL other nationals!

Russian People and Materialism: Rich or Poor vs. High or Low

These notes address argument about Money vs. Satisfaction and City vs. Province, inspired with the question, whether Russian women are Worshipped or Depreciated at homeland, and if Western environment and Chivalry can “spoil” them. Original thread here at GL’s. Worth reading.

Russians say, “Not in money happiness is” (well, some jocularly add “but in its amount”), and right they are. Culture is what matters, - in all its meanings, including artistic sources of thought and pleasure, active folklore, patterns and manners of human relations, self-discipline, spiritual ideals and fulfilment,.. goals and values that money’s nothing more than a means for.

Cinderella Code to Russian Women’s Virtues, Expectations, Attitudes and Charms

Pick the role of “Poor Thing’s Prize” or poke into that shallow “Silver Platter To Females”, and you’ll miss a host of differences behind the axiom that

“to Western men, we are all Cinderellas by default; to Russian women, you are all Princes by default.”

It’s high time to anatomize the totem of Russian women.