My policy, or Complain here
May 16, 2007 — wonderlanderDear readers:
1. In your comments you may ask that I should not post the comment or its part which is confidential. Otherwise, I publish them, after viewing.
The reason for moderation is that some cunning spam does pass the filter - why let my guests stumble over it.
2. A delay means I had no time to visit my site, or to follow promptly with an answer requested (or needed beyond request, for the general use). Beg your pardon.
Kiev time is GMT+02. I may be burning the midnight bytes till noon, or catching up on sleep hours for beauty’s sake, or just having a life.)
If you see your comment appear without a follow-up, I might have replied inside the same box - for accuracy.
3. Barely can I check the spam filter. Sorry if it may bolt-from-the-blue-moon block a comment and it happens to be yours.
4. I may edit my own posts and comments anytime to add or correct the information I undertook to provide.
5. I may transplant your comments from post to post or group them, by relevance.
If your question concerns a topic different from those in a post you read, - for the convenience of all, please kindly take a little effort (with the help of “Search” or Table of Contents) to find if there’s a fitter thread to place your comment. Don’t worry, it shall be seen. You can also find more answers there!
6. I don’t edit or delete your comments unless you ask me to, or a double comment occurs.
Dear guests, please refrain from quarrels with each other if they bear no educational value.
7. In case of 2, 3, and for private consultations, please use my email.
This link does not activate mailing automatically, to prevent spam. When you click on it, you have to copy the address from the URL and paste it into your mail agent. Sorry for the inconvenience.
8. Payable private consultations are rendered the soonest and more thoroughly.
NB: I am not there for casual chats. I can not afford online friendships, reality is a priority. I am not impressed with howareyoutodays (inter alia, too much reporting steals from doing). Buddying me does not get one a discount. )
9. You are welcome to suggest improvements here. Anybody minds if I keep some linguistical, technical or commercial comments private from other readers?
10. It’s okay if sometimes you or I don’t answer compliments, apologies and rhetorical questions. Let’s focus on the topics’ “meat“.
Please forgive my varying greetings or lack of. I might be inspired by the peculiarities of our comments, or just be carried ahead by the sensation of continued conversation. )
And this is what my effort is all about:
“Playboy” Advice & Fake Orgasms, or Is a Russian Woman a Trustworthy Guide to Russian Ladies
East + West > Marriage + Relationship > Psychology > Expert Counseling + Personal Secrets
Kind regards,
Comrade Natalia.
June 1, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Privyet Natalia;
Well, I am back again and ready to try once more. Had a lovely trip to Russia, but so very disappointed in the romantic outcome. Such is life.
Do you have any suggestions or ideas on Ukraine and becoming more familiar with the safe way to meet, learn and become acquainted with a lady, without owning a bank?
Natalia: We are building one such! Working to open this summer.
Open to ideas and hope you can help. I think I’ve learned most lessons in life the hard way, and this seems no different.
Canajun,
:)
Natalia: You are welcome to share them under a relevant post, or gossip with me privately. )
June 6, 2007 at 4:07 pm
VERY, VERY, VERY IMPORTANT NOTIFICATION!
http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/2006/09/29/5/#comment-5390
September 5, 2007 at 4:28 pm
Useful website. However, the writing style on the blog articles is rambling and not reader friendly. The original point on each topic is lost in a myriad of unnecessary references.
The King’s English is not necessary………just tighter writing to enhance the clarity of the topics discussed.
September 5, 2007 at 10:38 pm
As a new student of the Russian language I can see more and more that in this language in particular is such a complex level of thinking.
And that same ability to toy with multiple concepts is not lost simply by writing in another language. Yes, I agree that what Natalie teaches is indispensable. So much so that I now welcome the opportunity to see Russian thinking in English.
Considering the monumental amounts of information in her formal educational background as well as social and experiential knowledge, I give my full admiration to her.
How can she possibly know so much in her so young life?
Perhaps if I can learn to think more in Russian, my own life within Russia will improve that much more. And then therefore in a like fashion so too will my student-teacher debt to her.
I briefly studied Icelandic and the science of communication. The sharing of concepts, feelings and experience is fascinating.
In England, Canada, France, Australia and so on, how many lawyers will multiple degrees would do what Natalie does with such wonderful enthusiasm?
Perhaps our collective support can encourage her to continue to help us?
September 6, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Thanks to both of you, gentlemen. Maybe I’m indeed overcatering to people who would wonder “why and how this is so”. The notorious Slavic hospitality, lol!
Good news for the busy bodies: I’m going to condense all observations into a laconic “user manual” (in male and female versions, for proper emphases) when the agency site is launched.
Sure, the needs for deeper exploration will as well remain attended to. Because, even if we leave out the scholarly air I sometimes assume, my so-called “expertise” represents unaffected Russian female mindset - restlessly curious, focused on relationships, anxious to account zillions of interfering factors… and to hand in the produce, tied with a bowed ribbon. That’s what little girls are made of, made of. While the Western Man has been excelling at pursuing the business mammoth far ahead.
(Natalia’s September favorite: Allan & Barbara Pease “Relationship Language (Man and Woman)“))
“Hunter” vs. “keeper” manners of thinking (prospective vision vs. peripheral vision) can produce “conflict of software”, or mutually adjust to reinforce each other. Here is how to manage it in dating and marriage.
…I once referred to the image of the Christian Cross to help understand Russian society. Now this image would illustrate the idea of harmony, same as encoded in the Yin-Yang circle or the Star of David: “male element” + “female element” overlapping and balanced in the core…
…excuse me for another philoso-fit. ))
November 27, 2007 at 6:59 am
I have a brother in law who has been married to a so called Russian bride for 12 yrs and has found nothing but hell in those 12 yrs his problems have spilled over into our partnership which has now making us to sell our business something that she has always wanted i wish all Russian brides will stay in their country and leave the aussie men alone if their that good why wont they marry their own kind and stay in their country……
November 27, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Hallo Jacky,
I choose to believe there are no absolutely “good” or “bad” people, there are people “compatible” and “too different to live in peace”. On this blog, most of the writing is about the differences that may lead to defeated expectations and failed relationships. Try this post for an intro.
Some can stay together longer, some shorter. Long-term relationships have their challenges and critical points cross-culturally. Though there are certain traits common to groups of people (nationwise in particular), every personal case is specific. You are welcome to share your knowledge, experiences and perceptions here, and I am trying to analyze and answer all the questions.
There are Russian women who are too good for their country, and there are “pirate brides”, - life has everything, bees that give honey and bees that kill. We can’t tell others what to do with their lives, but we can learn how to protect ours.
April 14, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Your web site is very informative on Russian Brides. I could find no category for the target of the Russian Brides – namely western men. So, I thought I would provide you some information which you may find useful. Since I am an American I will only speak about Americans. I’ll leave the rest of the western world to others. This information is important for maximizing compatibility between mates.
A good window to understanding Americans innermost drives, hopes, and fears is to study the Social Class in America. The web site is a very good tour guide to the American Social Class. Please remember that the influence of social class is not conscious – it is very much a hidden influence that affects a person at a core level. It is not measured by money, but it comes down to how money (or the lack of it) and its affect on child rearing has formed a person. Socio-economic class is not the same thing as social class, which in turn is not the same as class.
People principally marry within their social class. When men marry outside of their social class they marry for youth and beauty. Marrying a foreigner is merely a change in geography. Marriage outside of ones social class creates many stressors due to the clash of belief systems and values; consequently, these marriages fail more often. Language training can shortly solve the communication problem between Americans and Russians, but differences caused by social class can and will take far longer to resolve.
In one of your posts you gave this as a core Russian Principle, “Again we arrive back to the basic Russian Principles of ‘life is now’, corrected by ‘cautious is allowed’, and measured by ‘quantities neglible’.”
Do you think the core Russian Principle could be rephrased (in a baser sense) as,
“Alcoholism is rampant and ‘living for today’ is also, since tomorrow brings nothing better. Frequently the end-of-week paycheck is spent on booze or drugs with little left for real necessities.”
The above is a core principle of one of the social classes of America. Which one do you think it is?
Social Class in America can be broken out into the following 8 classes:
- Upper-Upper
- Lower-Upper
- Upper-Middle
- True-Middle
- Lower-Middle
- Upper-Labor
- Lower-Labor
- Underclass
The Answer: the core Russian Principle could be rephrased to be the core defining principle for the Lower Labor class – one step above the lowest class (ie Underclass).
In one of your posts you also stated that a common misgiving about western men was their mean spiritedness towards money. If this is common about western men seeking Russian Brides then the closest American social class would be the Lower-Middle class (perhaps True-Middle). Donald Trump is a good example of a Lower-Middle. The True-Middle is the quintessential class that America shows to the world – they are the true strivers and achievers. They also seek young and beautiful women as trophies to show that they have arrived. If they have not arrived then they fake it (perhaps with the “economy” version of young and beautiful women).
On reading Russian Brides personal descriptions, aside from deep sincerity, they also seem to have a high regard for education and seek to improve themselves. One woman’s description stated she was pursuing an education through correspondence school – which shows a lot of commitment. They also seem to have a high interest in art and culture.
The American Social Class where this is most in evidence is the Upper-Middle class. This is the professional class which is defined by its high educational qualifications: doctors, lawyers, professors, scientists, engineers, accountants, management consultants, investment bankers, etc. This is a cosmopolitan group with extensive travel and some foreign language proficiency. A liberal political outlook is common.
One could say that Russian Brides are a combination of the American Lower-Labor and Upper Middle classes. This is an appealing combination since it broadens the pool of compatible partners. An American Upper Middle man if he could not find an American Upper Middle young and beautiful woman would have two choices: (1) go down the social classes in the USA and find only youth and beauty, or (2) he could go across the pond and find youth and beauty along with many Upper Middle characteristics.
The Russian Bride would benefit since her husband being the cosmopolitan person that he is would appreciate her cultural differences and support her efforts to become the woman that she wants to become. The husband would benefit from a common outlook on education, art, culture, and of course her youth and beauty.
In summary, I believe that for maximum compatibility a Russian Bride should seek a husband in the Upper-Middle social class. This social class is not typically the richest (look to the Upper, True-Middle, or Lower-Middle for that), so don’t expect luxury, but you will be comfortable.
I welcome your comments.
– casablanca1942
April 15, 2008 at 1:14 am
First of all, Sir, thanks a lot for this much-needed, sense-dense contribution!
Seemed that you tried to give a link to that “class guide”. If so, I’m intrigued to see the URL.
You’ve chosen probably the fittest page for this comment I should link to from several posts. Here and there, I endorse the idea that socioeconomical background, with allowance for mobility and self-improvement, defines and divides mindsets more than ethnicity may – but I couldn’t have identified the central target audience better than you’ve just done.
Minus the labor. ) I guess they all quit my snobbish site with its eugenistic ambitions. ) There are enough businesses to bake matches from this stratum, that provides most complaints on Dreary American Marriages or Crazy Russian Brides, depending on which party belongs to it.
A thinker like you can’t be serious equating spontaneity to uniform chemical amnesia (let’s not forget balalaika to complete the scene)). Depending on one’s outlook and facilities, there is a world of sound ways to make living comfortable materially and intense emotionally, even spiritually. (Let alone the gestures for erotic romance.))
I heard Russians compared to ghetto blacks, for extravagance and “eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die”. But never has “this country” offered anyone good reasons to feel secured from losing everything, even and especially if they are on the top or close.
There are indeed such characters that, outside comic stories, make one ashamed for the Motherland before the face of the “civilized community”, and determined to shun Russified resorts.
On the other hand, I remembered an epigraph to Pushkin’s “Eugene Onegin”: “To live, it hurries, and to feel it hastes.” Sounds pure and elegant in Russian. Just looked up and found that this saying was quoted after an upper-crust aristocrat.)
The good news is: Russian women who look West are already peeved with the “live-fast-die-young” ways of their menfolk and the bardak (mess) of their country.
I heartfully invite you to expatiate on lifestyles, attitudes, and numbers. “Economy solution” thread has strayed into gifts, awaiting two new posts of mine, and here’s discussion about “Rich men”.
(After your remark on Donald Trump, I cast a different flashback to his primer on billionaire mentality - had a laugh!)
April 15, 2008 at 5:48 am
This is the web site:
A Study of Social Class in America by Will Skinner
http://www.willskinner.com/class.html
Natalia: Thank you very much!
April 19, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Dear Natalia,
thanks for the appreciation of my blogs:)
That is a good chance to express my fasciantion by your knowledge, dedication to the topic and - above all - your absolutely exellent English! Being myself a linguist, I pay attention to the language part in any kind of communication. Your English is fantastic! - how do you manage to attain and keep that level if you live in Ukraine?
Happy to link you to my blogs and may be to meet you one day (may be even this summer if I go to Ukraine) :)
April 19, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Dear Axinia,
I am honored with our virtual amity (see the new Comrades list ;) and would be happy to meet in person. Hope to learn some of your creative energy!
With your own multilingual talent, you shouldn’t be surprised by my English. I have learned it since childhood, got a National University certificate as a legal translator, worked in multinational environments and now have even more foreign than local contacts. I enjoy thinking English and only fear forgetting a bit of Russian. )
May 26, 2008 at 12:29 pm
I like Casablanca’s input as to divisional socioeconomical theorem.
However, let me throw in how it really is.
There are 3 classes (this comes from the bottom to the top, there are LARGE divisions between classes, even if colleges teach differently, in order to “smooth” common sense out, which hampers most logical and truthful/fact-filled reality).
Rich = Nobody I know. (Except Lottery winners)
-These people you never meet, but always work for.
Rich means, to every person I have ever met, “not me”.
Rich means, “He makes enough to not work”…….not to be confused with “unemployment”. This is often the class that doesn’t actually accomplish much in what the “normal” class associates with “real work”, or anything actually constructive, since America is so retail/vanity based as an economy anyway. Generally considered completely useless except on Friday’s for signing your check.
Make note that Donald Trump is a joke, and mere physical existence, coupled with the ability to get bank loans, and buy real estate does NOT = Intelligence, or any type of greatness, only “monetarily endowed”. I can buy land myself you know…..
(This does not concern Bill Gates)
Also, all other classes hate the Rich. Just how it goes. Sucks to be them, but is THE best class to blame!
Middle Class- We have heard of these people. In fact, the government tells everyone how there are so many of them. Obviously, the American Government, like any government, tends to be run by equal parts stupidity, and extreme laziness, coupled with their ability to talk out of both sides of their mouths at once. In other words, they don’t really exist…………only the Labor & Rich do, but for added variety, the current American Tax code written by a……..Governmental agency seems to target heavily the so-called “middle class”, which oddly enough………is 98% of the actual American population………..who is not rich.
-Poor Class: (Labor Class)
Everyone I know, including me. This means, I pay the same taxes as everyone else, and find the same loopholes each year. Everyone who is not in the “rich” class falls into this category. If you can pay for a private school, you fall into the “rich” class. Actually, these days, if you can send more than one of your three kids to College and not go broke, you are considered by everyone not rich to be “rich”.
Please note that 99% of all American Military comes from this class, as the Rich Class deems it unnecessary to serve, since “honor” is left to our Class to preserve, while they make the money off the current wars.
These are semantics, as usual, the ideas and fake-idealogy of seperate classes are what actually create the classes anyway, and divisional ways to constantly control a population, which happens to be what Religion was used for. Just how I see it mind you.
But in the end, what you will NEVER see……….is a poor person hitting the so-called “middle” class to shoot up to the “rich” class………other than Lottery winners.
Unless you just bang out that better spatula invention.
It happens. Just not enough.
As always kids, there is a vested interest in not only creating the classes/divisions, but also in maintaining them.
It’s just like the Stock Market, Capitilism, Government, etc.
A Pyramid Scheme, and we (you, me, her, him) are the ones that make the rich class richer, while we stay the same.
Granted, that may seem wrong, but I am not Russian, nor would I ever waste the $20 for College. As Plato, Pliny, Socrates, and others have done, if you can buy it, I can also get that same knowledge for free. Between the one who buys, and the one who seeks the knowledge for free, which one actually gets their monies worth?
Unfortunately, as the East becomes more Westernized, and “geniuses” who are Western desperately seek to imbibe said Easterners in the BS that is American thinking (thank you, I am one, and a proud SOUTHERNER), let me remind you that when someone puts a plate of steaming shit in front of you covered in gravy………it is still shit.
I would suggest Russian women seek men who WANT them, not men who want to OWN them (uhhh……..just look back up there and remind yourself of TWO things: Any man who mentions Money and Female in the same sentence should throw a flag up to you, unless that shovel you have is for gold or oil, or go ahead and learn like the rest of humanity that the slowest of humans always denote “happiness” as equalling “material”).
So, point, game and match. If you want happiness, you might find that in the so-called “middle class” who are generally obsessed with their financials (which you end up equaling, after all, according to them you ARE THE GREAT AMERICAN investment). If you want reality, without a bloated ego, along with happiness, you ladies might shoot for less fantasy like your Western female counterparts, and more for the reality of what real people that work for a living and float all of America do.
My 2.5 cents right there.
What Russian women are:
Human Females looking for a mate.
A little money wouldn’t hurt.
What American men are:
Human Males looking for a mate.
A little money wouldn’t hurt.
I only wish psuedo-science and hack social psychology would go back to where it belongs: Philosophy and Daydreaming, where it began.